August 2011
43 posts
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Taste it, taste it, love's so sweet.
I don’t like being sappy.
I don’t want to be that girl putting all the shit in her in her blog, even the tiniest fleck of feeling or thought ends up becoming something bigger than it is because it’s written in space. But I think I need to be. I wish I were a robot, just in love with abstract or tangible work, tunnel vision, with less to no emotion, the works. But I know...
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You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you.... →
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Left of Self-Centered
i just rediscovered my old music back from high school in our iPad, man. I miss this.
For the first time in the past days, I’m feeling ok.
It just takes music, it can just take music. I feel like I need it to be able to breathe.
I don’t have anything else I’m holding onto just for myself right now, except academics. I ought to keep in mind that I’m a student. It...
Escape Me
Friends can only do so much…
And expectations just almost always leads to disappointment. For almost always anything.
Not everyone hopes the best for you; some are there to just make use of you.
:/ what a horrible thing to realize today but it’s truth, so it’s good to be cautious.
I’ve let my guard down when letting people I thought would be for keeps, in, and...
Fight, just keep going.
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Tension on the undercurrent
Some people are vengeful. And you see it, thought subtly. It’s there. I don’t want to believe anyone would want to intentionally hurt or harm me, but sometimes these things are never intended yet they still happen.
I don’t want to go there, I’ll try to be as thoughtful as I can be. I don’t need to succumb to certain traits that may harm, I really try not to.
...
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Questions
What are these things we work on and are they really worth it? Are they really worth all this trouble, emotional stress, and distraction away from other things that should matter more?
Are they?
Maybe I’m looking at it from too close a perspective and ought to see the bigger picture but honestly, sometimes I get so frustrated because in the back of my mind, the questions ring:...
Hello, I don’t know what’s missing. What am I missing out on :( What am I lacking in. What’s happening, I don’t understand it.
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And at the same time, I’m praying help me with my own little responsibilities besides all of this happening this week. Things seem so difficult and impossible, but I can’t give up. I told myself I will be built for good and great things.
Yes, I am very much an emotional vampire sometimes, everyone is.
But I say things, here. Not elsewhere. And if they are elsewhere, they are very much filtered. I don’t explode. I don’t break down. I’m just here, in my own space. Torrential at times, yes. But even the storm you may witness or think to witness is filtered. At times it seems to me that I breathe in the air...
I actually feel like putting up a sign on my head, “I DONT WANT TO DEAL ANYMORE”
because I know I won’t be able to say it. Because, I know I’m not someone to give up. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel like shit when things don’t seem to be materializing the way I thought it would, or the way they seemed to promise me it would.
Ok, who am I kidding,...
Cultured and refined young lady
Go to PowerHour Diskoteka? Man, I’m not in the mood tonight. But then again, I’m never in the mood to party usually. It’s just that when I get there, I make the most of it. Terribly too much sometimes. :( Another time not spent with sila Babsy. Eeeep. Mmmmmm, so many things got me thinking tonight, actually after spending some time with Alejandro, Monica, Daniel and Tonito....
“I don’t love you anymore.
Since when?
Now. Just now.”
– Closer (scene of Jude Law and Natalie Portman) I could’ve loved you forever. I know I could, but you had it coming.
You wasted this heart that was willing to take your fall and help you stand up again. But it’s ok, my love was a gift. I just wish it did you more good! Or that you made...
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Thick Skinned
One thing I completely know for sure, I absolutely am put off by people who are assertively boastful. Especially of their material possessions. These physical things which don’t even last, or are unearned by they who boast - whether directly or subtly. Go on, and I thank thee for giving me a reason to feel absolutely repelled; and find myself silly for all the days of admiration!
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Almost Lovers
One thing I love about architecture, is that it can be likened to a person. Once designed, It can be felt; It can give an impression; It can serve a function effectively or not; Its looks can be defined by its purpose or not; It can affect or completely be ignored.
It can go with the flow wherein its design just imitates what is in trend. It can stand for what its purpose is, its skin and...
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Thunder Strikes
The storm is coming.
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“This may be the world we are all born into, but it doesn’t have to be the same...”
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Other Words
“Nina Gonzalez didn’t get to submit her paper! Oh no the world’s going to fall apart!” And Jeric’s words made me cringe. And I didn’t get to because I woke up right when I was supposed to be giving it. And I fell asleep right when I was supposed to finish it. And what was being done during the time before that? Struggle and struggling teamwork....
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“Emotional Maturity”
– Upon seeing those words, I know, I won’t break down. It’s been incredibly hard to hold everything together, to keep everyone within grasp, to keep the lines which connect us taut and elastic. I feel the weight of everything upon my shoulders. And I feel the tiny sparks caused by...
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“We talked about the real things and drove into the fire.”
– The Killers
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Walk Away
I’ve been thinking of moving to another Tumblr, and I did actually. Well, I made a new one. If you’re interested to check it out, it’s www.loveninagonzalez.tumblr.com
It’s a different type of blog, they’re all notes to random people, and maybe things! Just to have a place for those words unspoken, all the good type of course. I used to write down some words to...
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“Everyday you wait is another day you can’t get back.”
– One Tree Hill :( oh well.
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I guess I’ll have to get used to this feeling. And in the end when I do find the things which I will be able to love at present time, it will even be sweeter than it would be if I had them in my life now.
The tears don’t even want to fall, as if my own body’s putting me in an invisible bubble that I may not burst any longer.
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I feel as if someone died.
No one’s asked me yet, but if someone would ask about how I feel now that I can’t compete in my sport at the moment… That’s how it is.
I feel slightly lost. I need something to nurture on my own, of my own.
I need to watch something grow in myself, that I do for myself alone.
It was my training ground of discipline; it taught me how to...
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“I will comfort you in the silence.”
– God
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Hands All Over
I know I’m only human who yearns to be held and touched just like everybody else. But honestly, being held by someone I don’t care for in that way, doesn’t strike me as something right. Call me old-fashioned but I don’t like the idea of someone I barely know or don’t care of in a romantic way, hold my waist or stick right next to me so that his dick gets a rub as we...
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“Oh simple thing, where have you gone?”
– The years prove to be rolling by, and I feel myself grow older. The things in life that I used to look at from a telescope as a child, my shadow now carries as a delightful burden.
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To The Killer Eyes
There live the people I know who may steal things from me, precious things, beloved ones. Subtly though unconsciously, their intentions are known. But I just might let it be for I own none of these things that I love. They do not come off my breath, or these thoughts, or these relentless hands that yearn to create. They live, carefully crystallized in memory. I have no right to own precious things...
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The Balance of Order and Disorder
What struggle and relentless embroilment. I won’t give up.
Exoneration lost its eraser
Must you ask me questions with answers I obviously cannot supply?
I find myself breathing in and out the way Tonito does. For these type of things sound like complaints, complaints more than questions. We have things to complain about when we know not how to solve the problem, or know not how to deal with it on our own. What’s irritating is when it’s a complaint without any...
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May angels lead you in.
My heart goes out to dear ones going through a rough patch right now :( If only I could help them somehow… Or comfort them. I’ve thought of countless ways… I know I could do. But here I am in a wasted land, trying still to cope with my very own demons while grasping and balancing everything with these hands. How can I help others when I can’t seem to help and put myself in...
